Ice Cream
by Yel Ashaya
Summary: Dukat wonders what ice cream is and is pleasantly surprised when he finally gets the chance! Crack-fic inspired by a conversation my sister and I had once. For all the non-British readers, a 'nobbly bobbly' is a type of ice cream.


Dukat leant back in his chair; resting an arm relaxedly behind his head as he studied the delicacy before him. How he loved ice cream. That human boy, what was he called? Jack? Jack? Anyway, Sisko's son. Lets hope he'll turn out better than his father, the Gul mused.

Hmm. He continued to scrutinise the food. Some sort of coloured sprinkles covers the entirety of the surface of the ice cream. Underneath that layer, he found some sort of sweet, brown substance. He wasn't sure what it was, but it sure did taste wonderful. Ice cream. Pink ice cream was what made up the majority of the food. Granted, pink was not exactly his colour, but it had a wonderful taste so the aesthetics - in this case - didn't much bother him.

Why Cardassia had not thought to manufacture such a sumptuous, delicious, exciting meal, he did not know. Perhaps it was because of the sheer cold the food represented. The heating was working, though, so Dukat was more than happy to try Terran delicacies.

He smile smugly and bit into the ice cream. He instantly snapped his head back and stared at the food in disgust. Prophets! It was so cold! So very cold. He could feel every lump of the frozen substance as it travelled down his oesophagus. It wasn't much better when it finally settled in his hungry stomach.

It had taken some time, but he had finally gotten used to the unusual, freezing food and found that he was actually enjoying it. A lot. He had reached the stick and frowned, his eye ridges almost drawing together in confusion. Seconds later, the entire ice cream had gone and he dropped the stick onto the console in front of him.

Something caught his eye. He turned around slightly and notice his second in command. "Damar?" he called out, not moving from his present position.

The officer swung round to face his superior. He studied Dukat's expression, but it gave little away. "Yes, sir?" he answered, ever the obedient soldier.

"Do we have anymore of the-" he paused and frowned. Damar's slightly withering look concreted Dukat to the chair. Clearing his throat, Dukat finished, "-Ice creams?"

For a moment, Damar simply stared at his commanding officer. His blank, blue eyes bored into the uncomfortable Dukat. Damar shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I... I'll check for you, sir," he offered.

Dukat glowered at Damar as the officer left Ops. By the Prophets, running Deep Space Nine was hard work, and now all he wanted was an ice cream. He groaned in dissatisfaction and decided to call up some of the station's logs. It was amusing to read though Sisko's personal logs entries.

Moments later, Damar reentered the heart of Deep Space Nine. He rubbed his temple thoughtfully a approached Gul Dukat.

"I trust you have good new for me, Damar?" Dukat asked, eyeing the handsome officer expectantly.

Damar coughed, clearing his throat. "Not exactly."

Dukat raised an eye ridge. "Oh?" he said in disappointed intrigue.

"There was one of those ice creams," he explained quietly. "The, uh..." he trailed off his answer, not remembering the name of the food.

Dukat sighed and inputted, "Nobbly Bobblies."

Resisting the urge to burst out laughing at the sound of the ridiculous name. He contained his amusement. "Yes, well, there was one of those left in the stores, but..."

Wearily, and very nearly losing the will to live, Dukat gestured for him to continue. "But, what?" he pressed.

"The last one was just eaten." He shrugged. "At least, that was what Quark told me."

Something inside Dukat snapped, and Damar could very clearly see that. He didn't want to have to be witness to one of the Gul's infamous outbursts - yet again.

Deciding to put him out of his misery, Damar added, "Sisko. He ate it."

Dukat let out an incomprehensible moan. He threw his head back in dismay and sighed heavily. "That damn Sisko!" he yelled angrily. "First he took my station

- my station! Then he takes Bajor! Then he takes Kira!"

Damar stepped in. "Actually, sir," he began, not thinking ahead. "Captain Sisko didn't really take Bajor from you, and we got DS9, I mean Terok Nor, back." He smiled wryly. "Besides, it's not Kira was yours anyway."

Dukat snorted derisively and said warningly, "Damar, you may be my closest friend, but I can still deny you a promotion.

"Yes," Damar said apologetically. "Sorry, Dukat." Just as he was about to turn and leave, he added, "I could always get you one of those other... ice creams. A Fab?"

Dukat made a disgusted face, and held up his hand in intense protest. "Oh, Prophets no!"


End file.
